Last week, the lesson at church was about failure.

I did not get to attend in person because I was traveling, but my wife and my boys were there. Later, while driving, I listened to the sermon. A few days later, my wife came home with a book for me: How to Get a Return on Failure by John C. Maxwell.

As soon as I saw the title, I laughed.

My wife has known me long enough to know that failure and I have spent a lot of time together over the years.

As I held the book in my hands, I started thinking about all the failures that shaped my journey. Not the failures people see from a distance, but the ones that sting when you’re living through them. Failed classes. Failed businesses. Investments that didn’t work out. Dreams that took longer than expected.

Yet as I reflected, I realized something important: many of the things I value most in my life today were built on lessons learned from those failures.

One failure that stands out was during my PhD journey. I failed a course and had to repeat it. I remember the frustration. I remember watching people I started with move ahead while I stayed behind. It would have been easy to quit.

Instead, I made a simple decision.

I would take the class again.

I told myself that I was already ahead of the next student because I had seen the material before. I knew where I struggled. I knew what to expect. So I repeated the course, worked harder, and kept moving.

That experience taught me something I have never forgotten:

Success is not always about being the smartest person in the room. Sometimes it is simply about staying in the room longer than everyone else.

The same lesson showed up in business.

Over the years, I have started ventures that failed and invested in opportunities that did not work out. Every time it happened, it hurt. Nobody enjoys losing money, time, or energy.

But every failure left me with something valuable.

A lesson.

A scar.

A new perspective.

Today, people see Home Health & Hospice of Kansas, Meadowlark Adult Care Homes, Medicashift, and other ventures. What they do not always see are the businesses that failed, the investments that did not work, and the mistakes that taught me how to build the companies that survived.

Success often gets the spotlight, but failure usually writes the script.

Many people call me for advice when they are thinking about starting a business, going back to school, changing careers, or pursuing a dream. Almost every conversation includes the same question:

“What if I fail?”

My response is usually another question:

“What if you don’t try?”

I have come to believe that failure gives us something valuable: closure.

If you start the business and it does not succeed, you learn. You adjust. You move forward.

But if you never try, you may spend years wondering what might have happened.

Failure hurts.

Regret lingers.

Many people think failure is expensive. It is.

But regret is often more expensive.

Failure costs you once.

Regret charges interest for years.

Another lesson I have learned is to decide in advance how you will respond when failure comes.

Notice I did not say “if” failure comes.

I said “when.”

Because whenever you pursue something worthwhile, setbacks are part of the journey.

Before I started my PhD, I decided that if I failed a class, I would take it again.

Before I started businesses, I understood some would not survive.

Before I invested, I knew some investments would lose money.

Having that mindset did not eliminate the pain of failure, but it kept failure from becoming the end of the story.

Instead of asking, “Why did this happen to me?”

I learned to ask, “What is this trying to teach me?”

That question changed everything.

Today, when I look at my life, I do not see a trail of failures.

I see a trail of lessons.

Every failed class taught me perseverance.

Every failed business taught me judgment.

Every failed investment taught me discipline.

None of them felt good at the time, but all of them added value to the person I was becoming.

So if you are standing at the edge of a decision, wondering whether to take the risk, remember this:

Failure may leave a scar, but regret leaves a question mark.

And after all these years, I have learned that scars heal.

Question marks don’t.

That is why I believe it is better to live with failure than to live with regret.

So let me leave you with a challenge:

What are you avoiding because you are afraid of failing?

And what would your life look like five years from now if you took the chance?

Anthony Ndungu, PhD. MBA, RN
Entrepreneur | Leader | Growth Advocate
CEO, http://www.kansashomehealth.com|www.medicashift.com|www.meadowlarkcarehomes.com
“We make lives better.”